A Change of Consciousness
The story that prompted this post could be an invention of the Starbuck's marketing team, but based on what was said, I'm willing to believe this actually happened...
Man pays for coffee of customer behind him, starts chain
This idea of a "change of consciousness" is not unfamiliar to us in Tai Chi, indeed, those of us in most martial arts. The biggest hurdle you have to overcome in martial arts is not getting your black-belt/sash; it's not finally beating that one big and surprisingly fast guy when sparring; it's not getting your high-kick, or any other move down... it's learning self control.
For most of us, some idiot honking while we're stuck in the drive-thru would likely illicit the opposite response than the Tai Chi master gave. I'm sure some of us have the image of getting out of our car and inviting this guy to "bring it". Others might take a more passive approach and put the car in "park," even after the window ahead cleared, just to annoy him. However, the worst thing that could and DOES happen is that we'd let his choices and actions affect our day.
We might snap at the person waiting on us at the window if they make a simple mistake; we might carry it with us into traffic, adding our own horn to day's noise; we might carry it with us to work or home or anywhere and let our temper finally flare when something inevitably happens. And each one of us would likely have a flash of the guy honking away as we let our frustrations out. I quote a famous story on the Zen page of this website:
Like Ekido we would likely let that driver ride with us all the way through our day, perhaps even letting it shape the rest of our week, month, and even life. And the worst part? We would likely feel powerless against it. It's so easy to react in kind to someone's chosen behavior. When my wife snaps at me in anger, I snap back. When someone flips me off, I flip right back. Mirroring is easy and seemingly automatic, but it's not always the right choice.
The Tai Chi master in the story made the right choice. He turned the negative into a positive and let it all go. He wasn't out to prove he was better, he didn't set out to start a kindness chain or even a boost to his personal karma... when he handed the money over to pay for that gentleman's beverage, he handed over any and all frustrations and hurt that he felt because that man's actions. This was a choice that was not automatic, nor was it something that came unconsciously. He had to take action to make it happen.
And think about how it changed everyone else's day! The man who received this gift let his anger and frustration go and paid for the coffee of the person behind, likely someone equally annoyed. This lasted all day and I'm sure brightened everyone who came into contact with it. Had this not been offered, I'm sure the honking man wouldn't have been happy to finally get through the line. Likely a dozen or so other things would have raised his ire throughout his day. Instead, this chosen change of consciousness changed his outlook, his consciousness, and he passed that on to everyone.
You probably won't have the chance to make a change of consciousness at the local Starbucks anytime soon. But there are other moments in our day when we can choose to react for the positive, rather than the negative. All martial artists will tell you that self control comes consciously and through effort, and even when we achieve it, we easily revert to old habits and lose that hard earned control just as fast. But now we know the difference and we can try to catch ourselves and make a choice to stay in control, and perhaps make our own little worlds a better place for everyone.
Man pays for coffee of customer behind him, starts chain
A random act of kindness at a Starbucks in Florida caught on, and turned into a story of paying it forward.
It started Friday morning when one man paid for the coffee for the person in line behind him, and it went on all day.
Ironically, this chain of 'nice' started with anger.
The customer behind the man who started the whole this was honking and yelling at him. So the man, aTai Chi
master, responded with a bit of zen.
"It wasn't an idea to pay anything forward. Of course I didn't know that all this would happen and nor was it even a random act of kindness. It was something else it was a change of consciousness. It was my desire to take this negative and change it into something positive," said the man.
The chain of paying for the car behind you lasted all day long.
This idea of a "change of consciousness" is not unfamiliar to us in Tai Chi, indeed, those of us in most martial arts. The biggest hurdle you have to overcome in martial arts is not getting your black-belt/sash; it's not finally beating that one big and surprisingly fast guy when sparring; it's not getting your high-kick, or any other move down... it's learning self control.
For most of us, some idiot honking while we're stuck in the drive-thru would likely illicit the opposite response than the Tai Chi master gave. I'm sure some of us have the image of getting out of our car and inviting this guy to "bring it". Others might take a more passive approach and put the car in "park," even after the window ahead cleared, just to annoy him. However, the worst thing that could and DOES happen is that we'd let his choices and actions affect our day.
We might snap at the person waiting on us at the window if they make a simple mistake; we might carry it with us into traffic, adding our own horn to day's noise; we might carry it with us to work or home or anywhere and let our temper finally flare when something inevitably happens. And each one of us would likely have a flash of the guy honking away as we let our frustrations out. I quote a famous story on the Zen page of this website:
Tanzan and Ekido, two Zen monks, were once travelling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was still falling.
Coming around a bend, they encountered a young and lovely girl in a silk kimono, unable to cross the intersection. "Come on girl," said Tanzan at once. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her across the mud.
Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he could no longer restrain himself. "We monks don’t go near females," he told Tanzan, "especially not young and lovely ones. It’s dangerous. Why did you do that?"
"I left that girl back at the road," said Tanzan, "are you still carrying her?"
Like Ekido we would likely let that driver ride with us all the way through our day, perhaps even letting it shape the rest of our week, month, and even life. And the worst part? We would likely feel powerless against it. It's so easy to react in kind to someone's chosen behavior. When my wife snaps at me in anger, I snap back. When someone flips me off, I flip right back. Mirroring is easy and seemingly automatic, but it's not always the right choice.
The Tai Chi master in the story made the right choice. He turned the negative into a positive and let it all go. He wasn't out to prove he was better, he didn't set out to start a kindness chain or even a boost to his personal karma... when he handed the money over to pay for that gentleman's beverage, he handed over any and all frustrations and hurt that he felt because that man's actions. This was a choice that was not automatic, nor was it something that came unconsciously. He had to take action to make it happen.
And think about how it changed everyone else's day! The man who received this gift let his anger and frustration go and paid for the coffee of the person behind, likely someone equally annoyed. This lasted all day and I'm sure brightened everyone who came into contact with it. Had this not been offered, I'm sure the honking man wouldn't have been happy to finally get through the line. Likely a dozen or so other things would have raised his ire throughout his day. Instead, this chosen change of consciousness changed his outlook, his consciousness, and he passed that on to everyone.
You probably won't have the chance to make a change of consciousness at the local Starbucks anytime soon. But there are other moments in our day when we can choose to react for the positive, rather than the negative. All martial artists will tell you that self control comes consciously and through effort, and even when we achieve it, we easily revert to old habits and lose that hard earned control just as fast. But now we know the difference and we can try to catch ourselves and make a choice to stay in control, and perhaps make our own little worlds a better place for everyone.
posted by JC Carter at
11:28 PM
1 Comments
