Transcending - Reflections on the Chin Mudra

Most often Yoga meditation uses the Yoga or Chin Mudra, which is the joining of the forefinger and thumb, with the remaining fingers pointing downwards.

The symbology of this mudra is the "self" (the index finger) rising above Maya, Karma, and Ego (the middle, ring and pinky fingers) to meet the higher self or God (represented by the thumb). So, since it's easy to connect my forefinger to my thumb I suppose it must be easy for me to rise above Maya, Karma, and Ego and meet God? Well, in my 13 years of Yoga practice, I've definitely found that it is not at all an easy task!

Maya
Maya is the hindu goddess they call "the weaver of illusion." The greatest illusion she weaves is the illusion that we are all separated from one another and separated from all things. I know that when I really look, I can see how every body and every thing is interconnected, and how and how even the smallest actions can have enormous results on seemingly unrelated things (the so-called "Butterfly Effect").

Intimately, Maya is my internal dialogue, chattering along, making up names for things and identifying people and things as separate from me. When I quiet this dialogue, I find that I can see the connectedness of things, though being able to truly transcend Maya's illusion full-time is a daunting task, considering how active my own internal dialogue is.


Karma
I did something "bad" so God will be unhappy with me, and I dwell on that flaw/mistake until it becomes both an attachment and an obstacle to me. I did something "good" and am proud of my achievement. I dwell upon that until it becomes both an attachment and an obstacle. Often we have to let go of our good/bad deeds if we want to rise above ourselves. A dear friend once said to me: "You are not your actions!" My LDS students pointed out a similar philosophy in their own beliefs --the idea that you do your service work for others and for God, not for yourself, and that when you "sin", you repent before God and then "think on it no more." Of course, how easy is that? Did I really repent enough? Was my sin in God's eyes worse than the penance I paid? And what about all the minor "sins" that I haven't confessed to, but still feel badly about? How do I transcend those?

Again, this seems to be an internal dialogue issue. When quiet, my good/bad deeds don't matter, only the moment is important. And during that moment, if I bring one of my "bad" deeds into perspective, I can truly see it for what it is, judge it, determine what penance should be paid, and let it go.


Ego

Often times we think of Ego as an overblown sense of self-importance, however, in this case Ego is indicative of my sense of self. Who am I? Who do I think I am? Who do others perceive me to be? I realize that everyone sees me differently than I see myself, and rarely do they share the same perception of me. When someone indicates to me (verbally or non-verbally) that they see things I like about myself, I will "play to that" when I am around them, essentially becoming the person they perceive me to be.

So I am that person and I am not that person at the same time. When someone perceives me to be the opposite of what that first person saw me as, and they're correct based on what they've seen from me, how can I be both extremes?

I have my roles: father, son, husband, friend, teacher, student, worker, manager, associate, leader, follower... I think that list could go on and on for pages. And I can see Maya hard at work again weaving a separation between each of these roles. How often have the roles of father and son come in conflict for me? Or teacher and student? Should these conflict, or are they all integral parts of me?

When I quiet my dialogue, I see a cut diamond with each facet revealing something a little different about the gem. My self is that gem. My Ego is my attachment to one or more of those facets, and the feeling that the other facets will hold me down. When I can accept the full gem, can I transcend ego, or should the gem itself be transcended?

Bill told me that in the Ananda Marga International Yoga Society, that he was initiated into, when you wanted to become clergy (a swami) you would have to renounce your country. So if you were from India, you would have to leave India for a time. If you were American, you would have to leave the U.S.. He explained that this was because so much of who you are has to do with your geography, and to transcend ego one must sometimes leave the place they identify themselves with to learn about selflessness. When I think of this concept, I can't help but think of Mother Theresa in Calcutta. Thousands of miles from her homeland, doing selfless work.

Spiritually, I would say that my forefinger has just started to rise. And that some days my thumb seems to be coming down to me and other days is a million miles out of reach. However, despite setbacks, problems, and failings, I know that transcending Maya, Karma and Ego is a goal that can be reached.

Namaste!